Grammar
by Mystica83
Summary: Definition: The branch of linguistics that deals with syntax and morphology - and sometimes also deals with sex.


For **wonpunch.**

--

**Grammar**

"Let us sex, then."

Sea-green eyes met shadow-blackones in amused disbelief.

"Excuse me?" she asked.

"What?" he replied nonchalantly.

They were sitting on the couch in her apartment, his head in her lap, arguing about everything and nothing. He had come to see her this time and, in typical Shikamaru fashion, had spent all afternoon bemoaning the three-day trip he had made, even though the visit had originally been his idea. Temari bore his grousing silently, if only for the chance to play with his hair.

The truth was that, in spite of the travel, Shikamaru _enjoyed _coming out to see her. His current living situation made it difficult to schedule a tryst and almost impossible to execute it. In Konoha, it was one thing to be seen together in public – he was her liaison, after all – but it was quite another to disappear behind closed doors and not have the whole world talk about it. Not that it mattered much in terms of reputation (no amount of gossip would ever keep his hands off her hips), but alliances were tricky things and given the Sand's involvement in the Sound's attack three years prior, there were still those who turned to Temari with an unfriendly eye.

Unfortunately for them, the only place in Konoha that they could meet undisturbed was Shikamaru's parents' house, where he knew his mother would look upon an overnight stay from the opposite sex with _two_ unfriendly eyes. Lately, they had resorted to "midnight calls" (as Shikamaru dubbed them), but it was annoying, humiliating and more than a little dangerous to have to sneak her into his bedroom after hours. But Temari had her own apartment in Suna, which afforded them the luxury of privacy. Ultimately, this trip provided both parties a much-needed reprieve from all the sneaking, a privilege they relished wholeheartedly.

However, the lazy ninja was not one to pass up a chance to bitch about something (anything, really), especially when it had the mildly entertaining side effect of pissing off the deadly fan-wielder next to him. While some might have called this an exercise in masochism, Temari was wise to his game. She knew he was only too eager to see her walk around her living room clad in little more than his t-shirt and as such, was well aware that all of his complaining amounted to nothing. He was mid-rant when, finally out of patience, she fisted his hair and brusquely reminded him that if he was there, it was not because she had twisted his arm, but because he wanted to fuck her.

His deadpan request that she not be so crude led to the linguistics discussion they were having at that moment.

"Did you just assign coitus to a new lexical category?" Temari asked, one eyebrow raised.

"Yes, I did," answered Shikamaru.

"Why?"

"Because," he informed her smartly, "fucking is something you _do_. An action, if you will. Therefore, the root word 'fuck' is a verb."

Temari blinked at him, nonplussed.

"By definition, sex is also an action," Shikamaru continued. "Ergo, sex is a verb as well, and should be used as such."

"But people say 'let's have sex,' not 'let's sex,'" Temari argued.

"Which they shouldn't," he replied.

"So, by your analysis, the whole world is grammatically incorrect?" she asked, incredulous.

"Exactly," he declared.

"Enlighten me," she said flatly, still unconvinced.

"'Sex' is a verb, like 'run'," he explained. "You can run, but you can't _have_ run. To further elaborate, consider a noun instead, like 'babies'. You can have babies, but you can't just _babies_. That's no good."

"No shit," Temari interjected. Shikamaru smirked.

"Same thing with 'love'," he went on. "When you love someone, it is something you do actively, which denotes the word 'love' as a verb. However, people treat it like a noun and say that they 'make love,' as if they were making cookies or something."

Temari shifted in her seat, unwilling to continue the debate. She hated to lose – especially to him – and to her credit, could have argued that sex might be considered the physical manifestation of love. As such, the word 'love' could be designated as a noun, thereby rendering the term 'make love' grammatically correct. More importantly, it would refute his argument and establish her as the winner of their little verbal spar.

But all this talk of love and babies was making her distinctively nervous. They had never discussed their relationship in such serious terms. Hell, they had never even defined it as a relationship, for that matter. It was dangerous to do so, what with their being ninja – and from two different countries, no less. There were too many complications to name, too many legalities in the way, too few months spent in each others' company, to think of a future that their chosen lifestyles might not be able to afford them.

In the end, it was Temari's powerful sense of self-preservation that kept her from acknowledging exactly what she and Shikamaru were to each other. For all her strength and fearlessness, her heart (or what was left of it after that wretched excuse for a childhood she had) was not something she was willing to gamble away on a boy, no matter how much she might feel for him. She was just a little too close to being happy to risk telling him that and have it all fall to pieces should he not feel the same.

Therefore, in an effort to avoid a conversation that could only end badly, she swallowed her pride – a bitter taste – and conceded the argument.

"So, can we sex now?" Shikamaru asked, the eager glint in his eye betraying his lazy drawl.

Temari sighed, a look of exaggerated patience on her face. "Yes, Shikamaru," she answered dryly, masking her own enthusiasm, "we can sex now."

As he reached up to kiss her, Temari took solace in the fact that, unlike their shougi games, she _let_ him win this time.

--

Temari opened her eyes. A cool breeze blew in from the window next to her bed, making the curtains dance. Blue shadows washed over her legs, mixing with the moonlight that poured into the room. She sighed, got up and walked over to the vanity where she had a glass of water ready. Taking a sip, she turned to face herself in the mirror.

_When in the hell did sex get so complicated?_ she thought. She put her glass down and fingered the unruly tendrils of hair, damp with sweat, framing her face. She closed her eyes, remembering how they had both gotten so sweaty they burst out giggling every time they stuck together, as if sex tickled. That had never happened to her before and the realization that she only experienced that with one person in particular surprised her, even frightened her a little.

_Is that it? When I started to enjoy the sex? _Ordinarily, it never made a difference who she was fucking, as long as they were good. But sex with Shikamaru was more than fun, perhaps because he was younger than she was. _Way to respect your elders, _she thought, snickering.

_So what's wrong with that? _ But the expression in the mirror threatened to answer her question correctly and she turned away, tired of talking to herself. She knew what was making her life hell right now, and it was definitely not the sex. It was the feelings that came along with it, which irritated her. _Why are there _feelings_? Why can't I just have sex without them? Why do I have to wonder if I love him? Why am I afraid he won't love me back?_

Tired of mulling over questions that seemed to have no answers, she crawled back into bed, climbing over Shikamaru and brushing across his face in the process. As if he had never been asleep, his hands reached up, locked around her waist and held her there long enough for him to bury his face between her breasts before she broke his hold and flopped onto her back.

He pouted and she smirked. She loved to tease him – and he knew it.

Temari looked over at him. "You know," she began, " we could be sexing right now."

Shikamaru smiled warmly, rolled himself onto her body and began to kiss her neck, working his way down to her belly with his mouth, pausing when he got to her navel.

"What's wrong?," Temari asked.

Shikamaru grinned up at her like a fox. "Excellent use of a verb."

Temari slapped him upside the head as he snickered and continued his way south.

–

FIN

–

**A/N:** Thank you ever so much, **Lotos-Eater**, for your excellent beta skills.


End file.
